What to Say When You Talk to Yourself – Yep! That was the name of the book I began reading by Shad Helmstetter for my very Women INPower Business Book Club meeting. And to say this book changed…or at least is changing my life would be an understatement. There was such a mental awakening I experienced as I read the why and how behind the book’s central theme of -we become what we think or more specifically what is programmed into us by our parents and the world. And this awakening lead me to become very aware of the fact that I am programming my two daughters for success or for unnecessary internal hurt.
Now, to be fair, I always knew that what I was teaching them was “training” for now and the future, but to understand the science behind mental/brain wiring and programming and the work that must be done to reprogram ourselves from hurtful or unproductive mindsets took my thoughts about training them up in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6) to a whole new level.
As this book challenged me to begin uncovering some of the deepest and oldest programs that have shaped the course of my life over the last 40+ years, I recognized that I am currently doing the same to my daughters – programming – writing code on their brains that may never get erased, even if it needs to. Writing some code on their brain that I pray never gets erased!
This new consciousness has caused me to begin to speak to and with my daughters in a completely different way. It has motivated me to speak more affirming words in their ears on a daily basis, because I know that it is through repetition that it will stick. I now find myself being a bit more patient, because I recognize that not just my words but my very actions are being coded into their little brains that are sponges right now.
I’m thinking about who I want them to be when they grow up AND asking myself if the code I’m writing, the instructions I’m giving them, will actually produce what I envision. And this is an easy concept for me to understand, because my undergrad degree is in Computer Science and Information Systems, and I was a really good programmer in school – one of the best even. But I’ll save those stories for another time.
My point is… I understand how the code you write will not produce the system you want if you don’t input the right words, in the right order and with the right syntax. It just won’t work. You’ll have to debug the program, because something isn’t working the way you intended. And I understand now that the brain works the exact same way.
So today I am being very aware and more intentional about how I’m programming my children, because time will tell if I got it right. And the critical part of it all is that if I don’t program them right now, I may not get a chance to rewrite their programming…their brains…their lives later. So I’m encouraged to do my best coding today!
And I encourage you to do the same. So, check out the book, What to Say When You Talk to Yourself by Shad Helmstetter, and let me know what you think!
Peace + Love, Destini
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